My Birth Story

Let’s just get this out of the way. Every parent blog has a birth story. Maybe after reading this, you can understand a little bit more about why I am the way I am. Squeamish? Skip to the bottom line. 

Pregnancy

Wanted a child. Got pregnant immediately. Very early miscarriage. Got re-pregnant 4 months later. Nausea. Exhaustion.  Worry. Movement! Maternity clothes. It’s a girl! Gained weight. Worry. Preeclampsia? Gained more weight. Swollen. Hot. Insomnia. More weight? Worry. Bed rest.

The birth

8:00am – Water broke while getting up to pee after laying in bed, watching TV, and checking my email (bed rest). Somehow managed to not get anything on the bed. Awesome!

8:01am – Jeebus effing crap this is it holy moly whatdoidowhatdoido

8:02am – Took a shower (best. decision. EVER.)

8:05am – Called husband. Grabbed go bag. Chauffeured to hospital. Called parents. Called mother-in-law. Called sister-in-law. Called best friend.

8:20am – Arrived at hospital. Walked in. Filled out paperwork while leaking amniotic fluid. Gross. Is this really necessary?

8:45am – in hospital bed. WOW I found the pain. There it is. Contractions so bad I cried. I never cry.

10:00am – Epidural. Whew. Relief.  How do women do this naturally? Much respect.

10:00am-2:00pm – Watch baby heart monitor like it’s my job. Worry.

2:00pm – Start pushing already? Holy crap.

5:00pm – Still pushing. This whole kid thing is the worst.

5:10pm – Baby turns. OMFG. Doctor has to reposition baby while I push. Cannot describe the pain. Horrible. Nightmare. From Hell. My temperature spikes. Mom and baby have infection? Worry.

5:30pm –Might need a C-section if baby isn’t born soon. Ugh. One last push.

5:31pm – My little girl is born. 7 lbs, 7 oz. Healthy.

My hospital stay post birth

My little girl is whisked away to the NICU in one of those scary clear baby boxes due to the risk of infection. I hear her cry before she is taken out of the room, so I guess she’s ok? Travis goes with her to another floor. I’m left alone, worrying. The nurses wrench on my uterus, trying to get my bleeding to stop. This is the second most painful thing in the world. I am still hemorrhaging, so they give me medication to stop. It makes me nauseated. Then the morphine. Now I’m loopy and my baby is still on another floor. My sister-in-law and my best friend and my mom come and hang out with me. Did I just have a baby? Why am I here?  Wheeled to the mother/baby wing, sans baby. It’s depressing. They check on me every hour for a few hours while I attempt to sleep. Finally get to see her 12 hours after she’s born. She’s the biggest and healthiest baby in the NICU. This makes me feel so much better. Still surreal. This is mine? They release her from NICU. We are finally all in one room together. I get to take a shower. People visit. I can’t believe this is all happening to me. I stare for hours at her, watching her breathe. Nurses come and go. Two days later, we go home. All of us happy and healthy.

TL;DR
My husband would have to BEG me to have another kid. And even then I might refuse.